Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize