I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
