Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Life is so much better after having sex.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize