I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize