She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
