I am spending my child support on dildos
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize