yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
