i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
