mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
