Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize