Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
