Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize