You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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