Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
