You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
