This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
