I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
