HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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