It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
