Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
