what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize