The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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