You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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