Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
