so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
