Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize