Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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