Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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