O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
