How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
