That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
