it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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