i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize