Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
