No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
