'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
