Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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