I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Randomize
