Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
