why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
