how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
