Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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