So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
