My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
