I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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