it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
