yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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