You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Randomize