Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
