are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
