i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
