the condom got lost in my hair
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
