every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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