WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
