She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
