Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
