I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
