i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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