You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize