Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
