you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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