i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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