I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
